Are you talkin' to me?

I joined a new critique group.

I'm a little nervous about that fact, because of how badly things went with my last one. I have to confess I'm still pretty bitter about that group, but I think leaving was really the best thing for my writing. Their writing styles were very different from mine. I haven't gotten into the "must write for hours everyday" mode, whereas everyone else had pages and pages to share every week. Mostly I wasn't like that because of my control freak-perfectionist-agonising over every word frustration, but also because I let life (ok and tv *grin*) interfere too much. And it was very discouraging for me to come to meeting after meeting without anything to share because I hadn't finished anything to a high enough standard that I was willing to show it to other people. And when I did bring stuff, I had rushed through it and it wasn't "finished" and the critiques would make me mad, mostly at myself, because I hadn't done what I know my work needed.

And, really, I didn't feel I fit in with that group. Not that that's unusual. I tend not to fit in in most groups, but for some reason I thought that I should have fit in with the people I was baring my soul to week after week. But I didn't.

But since leaving the group, I finished my novella, had it requested by an editor looking to buy, and have started a new book. And, I see a very distinct improvement in the quality of my writing. I don't know if that's because of a newfound confidence away from the negativity of the old group, or because I'm taking more time with my work before I deem it "finished". (Probably a little bit of a and b...)

The thing about "finishing" something before you share it, is sometimes you need that brainstorming, that group discussion of what's going to happen next and whether that's the right direction... which you can't get if you wait til you're finished to show it around.

What I have found helpful, is something I heard Margaret Moore
suggest in a workshop. When she gets to a place where she's stuck, she starts deleting sentences until she gets to the place where things went wrong. I sort of see it as one of those Choose Your Own Adventure books, where you end up dying with the choices you made, so you keep going back through your choices and making the other one until you get somewhere good. And while I find that works a lot of the time, sometimes you really need that discussion with other writers.

But I'm seriously wondering if joining a new group is the smartest thing to do. What's wierder, is that one of the members is my boss in my day job. We have a very good chummy relationship and I feel like I can be honest with her, and we've agreed that work and critiquing are very separate things (what happens in vegas, stays in vegas :) ), but there's still that balance of power. I mean, she holds the power to fire me in her hands...

Well, I guess we'll see. I haven't actually met the other person in our threesome yet, because she's been ill, so we're going to be doing the email thing. Less pressure that way I think.

Keep your fingers crossed...